I have had a bad bug this week. That “persistent” cough that just doesn’t quit. The one that makes you sleep on the couch so you will stay upright the entire night.
A bad cough. A whole lotta sneezing and a full day in bed.
Despite that, I have tried to keep chugging along. Dinners, work, and even spending a day hacking and coughing at the new house as we finally laid the platform for the chicken coop.
And after a week of it, I AM feeling better, although I still sound horrible.
The kids are bouncing between being aware that mommy is sick, and completely oblivious. They haven’t been “bad”, but nor have there been moments of exceptional awesomeness.
Until last night. As I was snuggle the two girls in bed, the coughing started. Lying on my side didn’t help, and I hacked and hacked under the sheets trying to “hide” the noise.
The 7 year old was already snoring and wasn’t disturbed in the least.
And the 10 year old, well she did something that makes me think we might have done ok by her.
I felt a gentle pat-pat-pat on my lower back as I was coughing away. It was consistent and it was full of love. My girl was reaching out to me, it was pretty terrific.
I mean, whatever right? It was a just a cough!
But to have my little one feel empathy for her mom, even with “just a cough” was kind of a nice moment, and it was something I hadn’t thought about yet in our relationship.
In my relationship with my own mom, there are sometimes moments that our “roles” are reversed and I am in the position to nurture instead of be nurtured. Last night I saw this with my own daughter, she nurtured.
The timeline is moving along, and there will be more and more opportunities for her to give her love back to me, in times that I need it.
And those moments when she takes it upon herself to help out, and get jobs done before we ask, those are pretty awesome too.
It seems that every week our family takes two steps forward in maturity, of course, we often take one step back as well. . . but it DOES feel like we are getting somewhere.
I think we have done well. I think it will all be okay in the end. I think, perhaps, we may be “ok” parents, raising darn good kids.
And tonight, I will snuggle up to my tween and let her love me back. Because loving something is sometimes even better than being loved. . . and she deserves to feel that too.
And, honestly, with this cough, I will take all the love and nurturing I can get right now.