I had a crappy week.
I was fighting some mild, but persistent strain of some sort of bug. It made me feel run down, with fevers on and off. I had a pile of work to do, and that meant me just sitting in the office, silent and alone for 5 days.
Everything that feeds my soul was shifting last week. Hubby was working out of the house, and with both of us working from home he is usually my break in the monotony. We had a baby chick die after falling out of the nest and (probably) dying from exposure.
It sucked. It was a sucky week.
I reached out to my husband, just saying “I feel like crap this week” and I got back exactly NOTHING.
No, that’s not true. He gave me exactly what I have attempted to communicate to him NOT to give me.
He have me solutions.
“Go for a walk”
“Take a break”
His “suggestions” started to turn aggressive when I consistently threw back reasons why they wouldn’t work.
“Too tired and sick”
“Ugh, don’t want too”
“too much work to do”
Eventually I got the “Why lay this on me? I have work to do to. Fix this yourself if you aren’t going to take my suggestions”
And that’s just it.
THIS doesn’t need to be fixed. THIS isn’t broken. THIS is just this.
I don’t need a solution, I just need understanding.
I need hugs, empathy. Him to smile and nod and even pretend to understand. I need to just ride the wave of the blues so I can come back out in the pinks.
He did figure it out, in the end. All the “training” I had given him finally came back when he was able to see through his blinding haze of man instinct. Eventually he gave me the hug I needed and told me “Its ok babe. Everything is fine”
And it is all ok. I know that. But sometimes not fixing the problem is exactly what fixes it in the end.