I am sure we are all the same, when it comes down to it. We have goals, lists, demands, interests… all taking time in our day, and our mind.
Most of the time I feel that I can manage this long list of items. I can slot them in here and there, I can feel productive and resourceful.
Sometimes I can’t. Sometimes the list seems too long, the projects too big, the mental resources too demanding.
I wrote a few weeks ago about being at Critical Mass, about how to evolve we need to put strain on ourselves to push past our current boundaries. A month later and we are still pushing against that ceiling… desperately, patiently, waiting for it to crack.
But over the last few weeks, with the pressure from business consistent, and my time being spent more focussed on relieving it, the other “requirements” of my life have started to groan under the strain.
The pressure of spring approaching and our need (want) to get the garden prepped. The growing quail currently housed in my laundry room who desperately need an outdoor pen. The 3 kids, growing, changing and needing quality time to feel confident in their evolution.
The body that needs to sweat… but just can’t find time to fit it in.
And me, searching among the reeds of the pond to find my ducks who I was sure I had put in a row… but are now scattered.
I know and believe that life is filled with ups and downs, and that these pressures are normal and should be welcome. These are the moments that push us, force us to retrain our patterns of activity and thought, and usher us into a new phase.
I trust that, while today (ahem this week) may have been too much to bear, that soon I will be able to gently shift my attitude into one that is more positive, more in control. More confident. That I will evolve and adapt and secure my footing once again.
And from that, I will have grown.