Three weeks ago I was in Washington DC speaking at an influencer event. The weekend I was there the first Corona cases showed up in Seattle. While away I was building new business concepts, finally feeling like I was stepping into my strength, and applying my years of experience. I finally felt like I had “it” figured out. I was excited. I had no idea about what was to come, how life in the time of corona would change everything.
Two weeks ago I was building proposals for this new service. 3 Days later, everything changed. The industry changed. Canada changed. I mean, come on… let’s say it… the world changed.
faaaccck. Am I right?
We have been self isolating for 10 days now, since. March 12th. At first my brain flipped into strategist mode. Into … find a way through the chaos to a solution.
But the chaos kept coming. Structure continued to tumble.
How do you build out of “nothing?”
Last Thursday, March 19th, I needed to stop thinking and stop planning. I needed to, even for just a moment. Our family went outside, we built gardens, we planted veggies. We made plans to expand our food harvesting. We sold eggs. So many eggs, mostly for hatching. Thank goodness for our chickens. We controlled what we COULD control. We built what we could build to help create a foundation for SOMETHING months down the line. I quieted my brain. I tried to calm my stomach.
For years now our family has been at peace. Life has been positively challenging. We have been busy, but joyfully so. I would fall asleep at night easily, waking to the sound of roosters in the morning after a solid 8 hours.
Now I wake in the night, suddenly, remembering. My heart pounding, and my mind racing.
In my world, I look to data. Right now… this is not the place to look…. data is nasty right now.
So, instead of looking at numbers, or making plans… I am going to go back to writing to try and clear my brain. So, my apologies dear reader, but you will be tortured with my poor grammar, frequent misspellings, and excessive and usually inconsistent use of the oxford comma.
I’m going to try and write it out with you. Find our way through this mess. Share what we are doing, what the data tells us is happening (when I am brave enough to look) and together I am hoping we can find our feet again. I hope you will allow me that… to share my fears (oh and they are big these days) and to share my solutions (when I have them) and hopefully to share a bit of our new life…
So, right now I will call myself a farmer. And maybe a writer? A mother and hopefully a part of our community as we find our new way.
….but come one… call we all just send out a collective faaacccckkk one more time?? I mean, we made it through 2018, and then the crap show of 2019 when “everything changed” (hahah if we only knew eh). 2020 was supposed to be the Year of the Great Things Happening” in our industry…. so, I think we perhaps are allowed to give one angry stomp of our foot before we move onto more positive things right?
I am sorry I’ve been gone from here so long…. but let us be honest, writers have tortured souls… and for many years my soul has been a place of peace, and positivity, and productiveness.
Today though, I will start to write again.