For the last 3 years I have invested every part of myself into building a stable business and a fulfilled “lifestyle” We moved homes,(cities actually), created 2 strong businesses (one for each hubby and me) and started everything new and fresh for our family.
I believe that what you put your focus on will succeed, and we focussed everything into life and business, and they have succeeded. But at a very real cost.
Spending all day working, and all the rest of the time “living” has taken a serious toll on my waistline, and fitness level. I used to be able to work all day on outdoor projects, haul boulders and climb hills. Now I get out of breath coming up from the chicken coop.
My boobs jiggle when I run (this has never happened, “Hello B-cup”) and every time I lean over there is a mass of fat I angrily call my “gunt” that prevents me from leaning as far as I want.
I no longer recognize my legs. At all. They are some one else’s legs, and I don’t know where mine went.
I am sure it is a combination of being 41, eating and drinking far too much, and not breaking a sweat for most of the days in the past 2 years.
I have felt it coming, and “tried” to motivate myself to actually DO something about it, but have continued to fall off the wagon. But, I think now, this week, I have hit rock bottom. Perhaps it was the fact that I needed to get reading glasses this week. If I am going to be a 40-something-woman wearing reading glasses I damn well better have good legs.
Rock bottom is a sucky place to be in any situation, the only light being that you are finally ready to admit that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
And I am. I am so done. I am over it. I want my body back, never perfect, but manageable. I want my health and my strength. I want to never, ever see that “roll” again when I look in the mirror.
I have admitted that I can’t do this alone. I need someone to hold me accountable, to
force encourage me to exercise, to help challenge me to build muscle, and to keep my routine changed up. If I go to the gym on my own I cheat, and I no longer have room (or time) to do that.
So, I have booked a personal trainer. 6 weeks, one day a week, to help ensure I get my arse out of the house each Monday. I am going to fitness classes because at least then I know I will have done my 60 minutes without obviously cheating.
And I am using some online communities to help me own up to my current situation, and to keep the motivation drip constant in mailbox.
I am going to sign up for the Hot Mama Fitness Body Smarts program, a 12 week program to help not only educate, but also motivate me to eat how I KNOW I should.
I have done two of Dai Manuels Whole Life Fitness Manifesto TRIBES where he leads us through daily blasts of 30min a day health and wellness. I think I might actually be closer to DOING IT, vs WATCHING it! (if you want to join, it is FREE, just subscribe on the page).
And I am going to finally LOOK at that Grokker membership I have where I can download FREE exercise and yoga videos.
Oh, and I am going to hold MYSELF accountable. I have to. Otherwise it will be too late to come back from how far I have gone.
Rock bottom, and the only way is UP!