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I “get” that I talk about happiness a lot, I do, but the thing is, we are happy. It is really hard not to ooze happiness when you are filled with it.
But, it has got me thinking, as I write here, and I work with clients over there; is there a recipe to happiness?
I think it comes down to a few key points that we seem to forget over and over again. Things that take away, rather than add to our life… even though it may not seem like it at the time.
1. You don’t need that.
Whatever it is you are considering buying right now, you don’t need it, you really don’t. It won’t make your life better, it will probably break after 5 minutes of use and trust me, nobody really notices your shoes.
We spend so much of our time and energy purchasing things we don’t need, then we spend even more time and energy feeling guilty about it, or cleaning it up. Keep it simple, and buy what you need. And when you do, spend the money on good quality purchases that will stand the test of time, use and children. Less is more people. LESS IS. MORE!
2. Do what you are good at.
They say work shouldn’t feel like work, and I agree. When we start doing what we are really good at, we feel success day in and day out. Our “work” is a smooth ride, and what we are doing is productive and enjoyable. We spend a huge portion of our life working, at work, thinking about work and creating work, so do what you are good at, and do what you love. If you can enjoy those moments in your life, it will spread to all the moments you aren’t spending “working” It will also release you from the dreaded countdown to “RETIREMENT”. Enjoy your life. All the moments, even the “work” ones and don’t count the moments into you are free. Be free now.
3. Be with the people you love.
Spend time with the people you love. Clear up problems, resolve issues and love the people you are with. And that means, if you don’t love the people around you, deal with it. Resolve it, end relationships, release people from your circle. Feelings are usually mutual and our lives are too short not to enjoy our personal interactions. BE present with the people you love and smother them in kindness.
4. Share your thoughts.
People are always quick to share feedback (constructive, “of course”) and corrections, but we are less likely to share our positive thoughts with others. If someone has done something nice, or thoughtful, don’t just mull it over it your brain (“wasn’t that nice!”) TELL THEM! If you enjoyed something, if you think your hubby is handsome and your kids are beautiful, TELL THEM. If you appreciate your co-workers, or enjoyed the smile from the sales clerk at the grocery store… TELL THEM. We spend so much of our inner dialogue saying nice things about other people, and too much of our verbal communication doing the opposite. Switch it around and start telling people what you think and feel, you will be amazed and their reaction. Spread kindness, and you’ll share the happiness.
5. Say no.
As much as we need to say no to the negative people in our life, we also need to say no to the negative things, and actions. If you can’t do it, say no. Eliminate the tiresome and stressful bits by sitting on a maybe. Deal with the issues, and be honest with yourself. Do your accounting, exercise, and choose wisely the way you spend your time. Say no to excuses, and resolve issues today. Let go of the things you messed up by acknowledging them and facing them with honesty. Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes.. and then learn and act. This is your time, so use it responsibly
6. Say Yes.
I often encourage people to “leap” into life. Embrace those stomach dropping moments, the ones that make you feel you are teetering on the edge of a cliff dive. You will surface and be stronger for it. Stop living within a state of static comfort. . . push your boundaries and your limits and leap outside of your comfort zone. We all know that is where all the fun happens, right! Take chances, say yes, and see where it leads you.
7. Let go of perfect.
Be okay with the extra dollop of cake batter in the pan, or the off sized cookie. Get sweaty and spend the day laughing so hard you can’t re-apply your makeup. Get ready in a hurry, go away for the weekend with only a change of underwear, close the computer for a few hours, and allow yourself to make mistakes by doing something new. Perfect is pretty to look at, but no fun to hang around with, so let go and stop maintaining it and be human and fallible. As my brilliant 9yr old says, boys don’t like the girls sitting on the beach, they like the ones playing in the waves.
So, I am heading to the waves, and will probably come home with sand in my suit to eat cookies for dinner. I expect to laugh this evening, and tomorrow too, since I am spending my days with people I love, doing what I love.
Do you want to leap with me?
What is your recipe to happiness?