I have caught myself thinking about the passage of time lately. It is always a bit of a habit for me to attempt to capture a moment, remind myself of a day, a month, or an hour that needs remembering, so that a week, a month or a year later I can say “THIS, this was the moment”
It works the other way as well. If I have an event coming up, a flight or appointment, I will try to freeze a peaceful moment a week before, so that in my 4th hour on the plane, or as the dental freezing is going in I can say “Remember that moment, remember the peace you felt”.
But what I have realized these past few years, is that time passes too quickly to capture these moments, and that while I am saving a special moment today, the reality is I may not use it when I needed it.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, or next week, or next month. I sure as hell can’t imagine what next year will be like. There can be extraordinary changes, devastating events, or fortuitous luck that can bring about the unimaginable. I can’t guess where I will be sitting, this exact time, next year.
I met and married my husband in 9 short months. If you had told me in August of the year before that I would be getting married I’d have thought you insane.
It overwhelms me somedays, thinking how little control we have.
How we just. won’t. know.
My thoughts are tumbled and jumbled. I can’t decide whether I should do something spontaneous or just breathe in the silent moments.
Because when you say “live for today”, the reality is we will waste a day every now and then. Dishes need to be done, laundry put away and life moves along at an alarming pace.
I suppose we just need to submit to the chaotic rhythm and hope and pray that our years are long and filled with small moments of joy, and bigger moments of extraordinary.
and enjoy the feel of the clothes as we get the laundry done.