It has been 16 years since I met my hubby, both of us in our 20’s, young in body, mind and soul. We were “just kids” and both of us nervous about what the future held.
We met and he moved in on the same night. We lived together and were married after 9 months. As I walked down our hastily tossed together “aisle” I felt scared. I knew I loved him, but I didn’t know how it all would end. All I knew is that this was a leap we needed to make, or he would be heading back to Europe and we would be managing a long distance relationship.
His flight back home after his year of travelling was the same time as we were married. We had planned our wedding in 6 days and it cost us just a few hundred dollars. Home made wine and flowers pulled from the neighbours garden were the theme of the event.
Our first year we spent growing up together. We had to learn how to be married, and how to work together. We had to learn all the little things about each other that only time will deliver.
We became a team, it was the one thing both of us knew how to do. We worked together, supported each other and learned new things. We took “partnership” very seriously and invested our time into OUR lives, minimizing our “social”outings.
It was like wedding bootcamp for 2 years.
We learned how to fight. We quickly understood where the lines were for each other, and how to respectfully disagree without causing lasting injuries to the other person.
We supported each other through health issues, loss, financial troubles and stress. We made rules, and we followed them, spouting lines that we had heard our parents say time and time again.
“A problem shared, is a problem halved” became a statement of fact, and one we followed.
We shared bank accounts, responsibilities, and stayed up late at night building our life.
We had babies. Three of them. He became a father, and I became a mother.
We experienced new levels of stress and fear, and thankfully had the foundation to get through them. We had a 7 year itch, and a 10 (no one ever tells you about that one) We almost risked everything for each other, and then we did.
We started our life over and over and over again, always trying to find our happiness. And then we found it.
We are no longer those young spring chickens that nervously took each others hands, saying vows they hardly remember. Now we are older, wiser and have a deeper understanding of what a relationship really is. We speak without saying words, we have each others back, and we know who to soothe each others souls.
It will be 15 years this August, and time seems to be slipping by much quicker than it did before. I want no escape from this life, or this relationship, and I have aggressive plans to make it last as long as possible. I see us aging, getting grey hairs and spare tires, and it worries me.
So, I buy more more fruit, and whole grain bread. I stock our cupboard with organic foods and supplements. I find vitamins that are “Just for Men” and make vegetarian meals on regular occasion.
I make him drink water.
And I drink it too. And I take the vitamins, and eat the organic foods. And I tell myself I LOVE vegetarian meals (even though I crave a juicy burger)
We go for walks during the weekdays when the kids are at school, like old retired couples tend to do, and we say it is because we enjoy each others company (which we do) but we know it is also to get more exercise.
We know we are getting older, and we are doing it together, which means we need to also put in energy towards staying younger, if only for the hope that we get even more time to age.
We know every day counts, and all those days add up to years that matter, and for that reason, we need to pay attention and make sure that time doesn’t get away from us.
Because 15 years ago we didn’t know how it would end. . . but now we do and that scares us more than anything.
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Disclosure: I am part of the Orange Naturals Mom Ambassador Program and I receive special perks as part of my affiliation with this group. The opinions on this blog are my own.